an open letter to the NStar representative that I talked to yesterday

Hello, nameless, faceless voice on the other side of the phone.

I owe you an apology.

Yes, it was me who called at 1pm to get my heat fixed. And it was me who called again around 6 to get an update on the progress of the process. And it was me again getting so upset at 9pm last night that I was shaking while trying to stay calm talking with you on the other side of the phone.

I know it's not your fault. In fact, a portion (at least) of the blame belongs with me. But for some reason I chose you to be rude with and on whom to take out my frustrations. I don't know your situation. I don't know if this is a job where you are (also) struggling to make ends meet. I don't know if you were just bored at home and are looking for something to do. I don't know if this job pays the majority of your bills, if it's merely a placeholder as you interview during the day for a job you are more qualified for, or if it pays for your books this semester.

I don't know what your life is like at home. Do you have someone to go home to? From the slight crack in your voice as you made a suggestion on how to bundle my kids if it gets too cold, was it something you have done before? Was I so horrible either with my tone or with my words that you needed a moment after our conversation?

I know you were trying to be helpful as much as you could. I know that it was after hours and that other people have families to get home to, make dinner for, spend time with, keep warm, but I still wish there was something you could have done.

I took a cold shower this morning, but at 9am (maybe even due to your help) we once again had hot water and heat.

Was I a baby for complaining too much? Did I complain enough?

Either way, I wanted to say I'm sorry if I ruined your night. And if you never think of me again or never get a chance to read this, I still owe it to you to say that.

peace,
Dann